


Unwanted Thoughts and Uncontrollable Desires

by arlum42



Category: Glee
Genre: Adultery, Love Letters, Love/Hate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlum42/pseuds/arlum42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hot new Warbler is doing his best to get Blaine's attention and lately it seems to be working out quite well for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwanted Thoughts and Uncontrollable Desires

It was those times when the tall new Warbler entered his mind that Blaine hated himself the most. His eyes would close, his thoughts fading away, and then the guy would appear, his hair styled upwards as usual and a flashy grin across his face. He’d immediately open his eyes and try to rid his mind of the image but it would only appear again the next time he drifted away again. 

He didn’t understand why it kept happening. The guy was a douche. He was rude, offensive, and even seemed homophobic despite being gay himself. And worst of all he hated Kurt. Actually, “hated” was an understatement. More like “despised”. He would tease him whenever he had the chance and he never once let the pale skinned diva forget that he was after his ex-Warbler boyfriend.

He knew it would be lying to say that it was because of Sebastian’s never-ending flirting attempts that he could never forget the damn boy. You need two to tango and Sebastian wasn’t the only one having unacceptable thoughts. 

Blaine tried his best to ignore Sebastian. He tried his hardest to rid the tingling in his fingers whenever he dreamt of running his hand through the boy’s bronze hair. He threw out the dozens of love poems he found in his locker, his mailbox, his second-story bedroom windowsill. The poems were horrible – disrespectful to Kurt, to the relationship between the two. They mentioned… dirty acts Blaine had a hard time erasing from his mind once he read them off the paper. And through it all Sebastian still managed to make them rhyme. He was an ass but Blaine had to admit the kid had a hint of talent. He even forced himself to never wear any one of the five bowties Sebastian had slipped into his backpack on his visits to his old Dalton Academy friends. He hadn’t thrown any of them out though – that was too much.

As he lay on his bed, thinking, he spotted a white slip of notebook paper sticking out from his jacket pocket. He crossed over to the other side of the room where the jacket hung on the back of his chair and pulled out the folded paper.   
It was as if someone had read his thoughts. He immediately recognized Sebastian’s messy yet somehow… cute scrawl. “TO MR HOTSTUFF” it said in capital letters. He went back to the bed, lay down on his stomach, and unfolded the note.   
Al short poem was printed on the first half of the paper and below appeared a printed photo of Sebastian… shirtless. Blaine knew the right thing to do would be to shred the paper that very instant and forget the whole thing. The problem was that his eyes had locked on to the photo of the topless Warbler and didn’t seem to want to move anytime soon. He managed to shift his gaze up to the writing but even that took some effort. He began to read:

DEAR MR HOTSTUFF YOU'RE EFFING HOT  
UNLIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO IS NOT  
HOW ABOUT YOU JOIN ME INSTEAD  
ISN’T IT GOOD I’VE GOT A KING-SIZED BED?  
I’VE GOT GREAT SKILLS – IT’S NOT A MYTH  
SIGNED YOUR LOVER – SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

Blaine reread the poem before returning to stare at the photograph below. Sebastian pretty much looked just as Blaine had imagined him. He was tall and lean and he knew how to take “those kinds of photos” without looking like a complete fool. Blaine felt horrible as his mind made a mental comparison of Kurt and Sebastian. They were both very attractive physically and yet something about Sebastian’s unwavering determination and complete disregard to social norms made him very attractive to Blaine. 

The loud ringing noise of the home phone made Blaine jump. When he picked up he was surprised to hear Kurt’s voice on the other end. He immediately felt a fresh wave of guilt crash over him and, holding the phone, he walked over to the kitchen garbage can and shoved the page inside. (Not that that made any difference – he had the photo engraved into his brain and anyway, he was sure he’d be getting another one just like it with his next poem.)

Turned out Kurt just wanted to know if he was coming for dinner as planned. Blaine confirmed, hoping his voice didn’t give away his guilt. Kurt could read him perfectly and since he usually never kept any secrets from his boyfriend he found it very hard to do so now.

As he walked back to his room and placed the phone back in its cradle he wondered what he should do. Telling Sebastian to stop was no use – rejection to him was nonexistent, a meaningless concept. Deep down a part of him knew that he should pick the phone right back up and tell Kurt. He knew this was cheating even though it wasn’t physical… yet and that emotional cheating was just as bad, if not worse.

His hand lingered on the phone for a moment even though in his mind he knew that he hadn’t once seriously considered following through with the right thing. He resumed his spot on the bed and grabbed the speaker remote in his hand. In a matter of seconds Teenage Dream blasted in the bedroom. 

Kurt trusted him so why shouldn’t he trust himself. It was just a silly game between two teenagers, he thought. He would never follow through with anything. He was almost an adult now and he could control his desires. “I am strong and I am honest. I won’t let it get out of hand,” he said aloud to Katy Perry’s booming voice, and yet, even as he said those words the printed image flashed once again in front of his eyes and it was all he could do to not get up at that very moment and retrieve the crumpled up paper that lay in the bottom of the can.


End file.
